HBO and Showtime have always had a Coca-Cola/Pepsi or Nintendo/Sega rivalry. Even now with the “Streaming Wars” in full swing, Showtime, which is now owned by Paramount Media Networks, was struggling about 30 years ago to rise up to HBO. I still remember when the network would air soft-core porn from Europe on late night TV. It seemed to mix the prestige of HBO with the frat boy vulgarity of Cinemax, aka Skinemax.
So, by the early 1990s, they were looking for an anthology series to compete with the horror anthology Tales From the Crypt, which had surprisingly been a hit in the early 1990s attracting talent including Oscar winners Joe Pesci, Tom Hanks (who directed for the first time as well as dying for the first time on screen), Ke Huy Quan and Brad Pitt, along with big names like Michael J. Fox, Demi Moore and Arnold Schwarzenegger who directed an episode but still appeared in the bumper alongisde the Cryptkeeper. The series was the work of executive producers Richard Donner, David Giler, Walter Hill, Joel Silver and Robert Zemeckis. So, when you have the minds behind The Omen, Alien, Predator and Back to the Future, among others working together, you’re going to get a great show.
So by the summer of 1993, the show was beginning to branch out in a Saturday morning cartoon show Tales from the Cryptkeeper and feature movies, Demon Knight and Bordello of Blood, that wouldn’t be as successful. Showtime, not to be outdone, commissioned an anthology series, Body Bags, with the likes of John Carpenter and Tobe Hooper directing. But shortly after filming begin, Showtime canceled the series but assembled the three finished stories around a horror anthology movie they premiered on the network in August of 1993.
For the most part, it’s a valiant effort. And it’s a shame that Showtime didn’t pursue the series because it could’ve been a worthy competitor to Crypt, which by the start of the fifth season in the Fall of 1993 was losing some of its luster. The fifth season was mostly the beginning of the end as it had been a whole year since the end of season four in late September of 1992. But season six would be the last to be filmed in America. The seventh and final season, filmed and set in the United Kingdom, aired 15 months after the end of season six during the spring months of 1996 and was mostly ignored. Ironically, the 1972 anthology movie Tales from the Crypt was filmed and set mostly in the U.K., featuring a young Joan Collins in a memorable segment.
Maybe Showtime saw the writing on the wall and realized to cut its losses soon. Most horror/sci-fi anthologies didn’t last long An attempt to revive the Twilight Zone in the mid-1980s only last three seasons. Tales from the Darkside and Monsters were popular in syndication but had gone off the air by the summer of 1993. Whatever reason, Body Bags is a true horror fans delight. Not only do Carpenter and Hooper direct the episodes, but they feature a who’s who of horror-related actors and filmmakers in the cast. It could be that’s the reason the series was canceled. They knew audiences would suspect bigger names in subsequent episodes but like Crypt would stick character actors in mediocre episodes.
The first segment is “The Gas Station” or “Gas” depending on who you talk to, involves a young college student, Anne (Alex Datcher), working her first (and probably last) night at a remote gas station that is near Haddonfield, Ill. This is a reference to the Halloween franchise and Carpenter directs it as it follows a slasher format. There’s news reports of a serial killer on the loose.
Anne has been dropped off by her roommate as her car is in the shop and meets Bill (Robert Carradine), a clerk she replaces at the shift change and they exchange pleasantries and he tells her what she needs to know before he supposedly drives off. Even though she’s in a locked booth, she is still freaked out by a pasty-face man (Wes Craven) who buys some cigarettes and gets too interested in what she’s reading. She flirts a little with an older man, Pete (David Naughton of An American Werewolf in London fame) but forgets to return his credit card to him until he drives off.
She tries to run after him but locks herself out of the booth and is approached by a bum (George “Buck” Fowler, a regular of Carpenter’s movies) who wants to use the restroom. She’s able to get into the main station nearby to find a set of keys, but she’s worried about the bum as she’s heard the reports of the serial killer. A jovial man (Peter Jason, another Carpenter regular) and his woman passenger (Molly Cheek) stop by and he agrees to check on the bum for Anne, only to say that the bum has fallen asleep on the restroom floor.
But Anne soon learns that the bum is the least of her problems. It’s your typical chase slasher in which the killer chases Anne around the gas station premises. It’s impressive that the story is mostly confind to one location out in the middle of nowhere. And because Anne doesn’t have a car, she doesn’t leave. But why doesn’t she call her roommate or the police is a reason that is never explored. Check out Sam Raimi (of Evil Dead and Spider-Man fame) in a crucial cameo that I won’t spoil.
The second segment “Hair” involves a vain middle-age man, Robert Coberts (Stacy Keach), upset that his hair is thinning and failing out. He seeks ways to keep his hair, even wearing an obviously fake toupee. This segment also directed by Carpenter has a dark comedy element to it, which means the main twist of horror isn’t really revealed until the third act of the segment, but it’s a doozy.
It’s funny to laugh at in this day and age where being bald is in style. Jason Statham, Dwayne Johnson, Vin Diesel are just three of the popular actors/stars who don’t mind showing off their scalps. And this was before Bruce Willis decided to show more skin on top in the mid to late 1990s. It’s probably the shortest and least interesing segment but Keach, a Shakespearan actor known more serious roles, handles the role with the right element of comedy and smugness needed.
The segment contains a cast that includes Sheena Easton as Robert’s younger girlfriend, Megan. Then, there’s David Warner (The Omen, Waxwork) as Dr. Lock, who has a “revolutionary” new way to regrow hair and Deborha Harry (Videodome, Tales from the Darkside: The Movie) as his nurse. Blink and you’ll miss a young Gregory Nicotero as a young man with long wavy hair who irks Robert’s vanity when he sees him out walking his dog. Nicotero is mostly known for his work as a special effects effects creator on many TV shows and movies such as The Walking Dead franchise.
The third segment “Eye” is a little bit darker and directed by Hooper. It features Mark Hamill during his early 1990s pornstauche phase as a minor league baseball player Brent Matthews, who loses his right eye in a traffic accident on a dark, rainy night. Because he’s being scouted by the majors (even though Hamill was in his early 40s and looks it), his wife, Cathy (Twiggy) is pregnant and he needs his right eye because he looks out it while at bat.
Brent’s physician, Dr. Bergmam (Roger Corman, legendary filmmaker of horror, sci-fi and low-budget thrillers) introduces him to Dr. Lang (John Agar, an actor famous for his roles in many sci-fi movies) about an eye replacement surgery as they have just received a fresh donor. While corneas can be replaced, entire eyes can’t. But with a new eye, Brent has good visions. But then he begins to see horrible visions of bodies in his backyard and bloody hands coming up out of the garbage disposal.
He does some research as well as questioning Dr. Lang only to discover his eye was taken from serial killer John Randall, who was recently executed. The new eyeball seems to affect Brent’s behavior and in one of the more harder to watch scenes, he rapes Cathy when he sees visions of a woman’s corpse. Randall was also a necrophile. If you’re a Star Wars fan and you never wanted to see Hamill’s nether regions, I would recommend skipping this one. It does provide Hamill a chance to move past his Luke Skywalker days.
Hamill’s film career had faded by this moment and he was appearing in forgettable low-budget movies and mostly doing voice work, most famously as The Joker in Batman: The Animated Series. He’s convincing as a bad guy but the segment is too short to make him a truly effective scary creep. The segment also features a cameo by Charles Napier, fresh off his memorable role in The Silence of the Lambs, as Brent’s manager.
There’s also bumper segments featuring Carpenter as a creepy-looking coroner who uses dark humor to introduce each segment the same way the Cryptkeeper did on Tales from the Crypt. Carpenter, behind make-up, seems to be having a fun time hamming it up even though he would later say he didn’t like the long hours sitting in the make-up chair. But he did enjoy directing the “Hair” segment. Hooper and Tom Arnold (?!?!?) appear also as morgue workers.
With its silly over-the-top violence and dialogue in which someone screams, “Die, you son of a bitch!” you know what you’re in for. It’s a shame the movie is mostly forgotten decades later but if you’re looking for a good horror movie with practical effects before filmmakers got out of hand with CGI, this is for you.
What do you think? Please comment.
Zane Says 