Despite what you’ve been taught, you don’t always owe someone an apology. Nor do they have to accept one if you do. Years ago, someone posted on TikTok that forgiveness is another form of gaslighting. And I agree.
You can only do so much before you’ve crossed the line. They call it burning bridges and in reality, you don’t need certain people in your life who will be toxic and negative. They need you but as long as you stay around, they can hav a reason for being. If at all possible, don’t give them the satisfaction.
I’ll be honest. I don’t care one iota about Perez Hilton. Born about six months before I did in 1978 as Mario Armando Lavandeira Jr., Hilton didn’t start the tactless and tasteless form of celebrity gossip. Hedda Hopper and Liz Smith were doing it before his father probably learned the wonders of masturbation. And people like Rush Limbaugh were spewing their toxic venom over the airwaves when only a small percentage of the population had access to the Internet.
But I agree that Hilton owned the new world of cyberbullying. He got rich and famous over ripping apart celebrities, outing many like Matt Bomar and Neil Patrick Harris during a time in which society didn’t mostly accept gay men. As a gay man himself, he pretty much reinforced the stereotype that gay men hate all women. He treated Amanda Bynes, Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears and Amy Winehouse like garbage. His under-the-dress posting of Miley Cyrus when she was underage should’ve gotten him charged with CSAM (child sexual abuse material).
Granted, you’re allowed to think whatever you want to about celebrities but there is a line and he crossed it. And he made a lot of bank. Yes he gave people what they want. But people als want Democrats in prison, women and BIPOC stripped of their rights and in prisons as well as being allowed to hunt and kill those in the LGBTQIA community. Just because some people want it doesn’t mean we need it.
Recently Hilton made a TikTok livestream where he appeared to be covered in blood over his nude body and was self-harming with a knife. The video led to people watching as well as the social media website contacting authorities. I’ve seen a little bit of it. I wouldn’t recommend it but it leads me wondering a few things.
Is it his real blood because it looks like a lot? Could it be staged because Hilton is all about playing the victim when his behavior deserving backfires on him? If it is all real, should we feel sorry for him?
A lot of people aren’t feeling sorry. I just hope if he is having medical issues, he gets help and his children are in a safe environment. But you do get what’s coming to you if you don’t change your ways over time. Muhammad Ali said, “The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.”
A lot of celebs have done bad things in their youth they’ve been atoning for, such as Mark Wahlberg. But just because you’ve changed over the course of your life doesn’t mean others that you’ve wronged automatically forgive you. It’s this type of entitlement into full blown gaslighting because a narcissist knows how to play the game.
As a former crime reporter, it seems there’s a lot about forgiveness but it’s a one-way street and it’s always on the victims and their families especially if they are people of color. The family of Botham Jean who was murdered in his Dallas apartment by a cop didn’t have to forgive his killer. About 30 years ago, I read an article about David Berkowitz, aka Son of Sam, and how he had become a born again Christian, claiming he was possessed by demons. His victims and their families didn’t have to believe that. God may forgive but it shouldn’t come as easy as the snap of the fingers.
Earlier this year, Hilton claimed to rediscover his Christian . Of course, this seems to mostly happen when some hot tea is about to be spilled on a celebrity. Or when they’ve become a washout burning bridges after years of substance abuse and sexual harassment/assault.
Now, there may be nothing coming about Hilton. But even still, people don’t have to forgive him. We still don’t know if Mitch McConnell is alive or conscious enough to return to the Senate. But his past behavior and voting records shouldn’t be overlooked because he’s in poor health.
There’s one thing I’ve learned and that’s the people who preach forgiveness and not living in the past always want to bring up what others have done which aren’t even as bad. You’re not a bad person for not caring too much about awful people when bad things happen to them.
You’re just picking who is really worthy of your empathy.
Zane Says 