As glamourous and star-studded the Academy Awards can be, it doesn’t mean every year, things go off without a hitch. Part of the problem is that a producer has a radical idea that backfires in the worse way. Famed producer Allan Carr basically sunk his career 35 years ago when he opened with an actress who was supposed to be playing Snow White singing badly in a high-pitched voice along with Rob Lowe as the actors and celebrities watched in horror as she walked down the aisle like a restaurant patron when they see the waiting staff clapping and singing a Happy Birthday tune coming their way.
Carr had done it because the previous year’s telecast was considered very boring. Carr reportedly told people rest assured, it wouldn’t be boring. No, it wasn’t boring. Nauseating but not boring.
If seeing Rob Lowe, less than a year after that 1988 Atlanta incident where he reportedly had sex with a 16-year-old girl wasn’t cringeworthy enough, then there was the Stars of Tomorrow sequence. It was choregraphed by Ken Ortega, hot off Dirty Dancing, and co-written by Marvin Hamlisch. But it is terrible. It features Corey Feldman during his Michael Jackson phase. And you can see actors like Christian Slater, Joely Fisher, Ricki Lake and Patrick Dempsey. Ok, Dempsey is probably the most famous person. But he also appears with his step-son at the time, Corey Parker, who was only 18 months younger. Yes, you read that right. I didn’t mean step-brother. Dempsey was married to his friend’s mother. Wasn’t this the plot of Class which Lowe was in?
While I’m not one to criticize, but many of the “stars” are actually, siblings children or grandchildren of actors such as Joely and Tricia Leigh Fisher, Melora Hardin, Keith Coogan, Chad Lowe, Tracy Nelson, etc. Even Parker’s mom, the former Mrs. Patrick Dempsey was known in the industry as actress and director. The only nice moment is a tap-dancing sequence by Savion Glover.
It seems sometimes things don’t work out as well as they should like the time David Letterman hosted in 1995. It seemed like a sure thing. Letterman was riding high after his move to CBS and people were finally realizing that maybe Jay Leno wasn’t the perfect choice to take over The Tonight Show. So, what happened? Well, blame Oprah Winfrey and Uma Thurman for that. It wasn’t their fault. They just happened to be there as Thurman was nominated for Pulp Fiction and Oprah is Oprah.
But Letterman thought it would be funny if he introduced the two. Only they weren’t prepared and looked as uncomfortable as everyone else. Was this supposed to be a funny? What was the joke? From then on, the rest of the telecast tanked as Letterman brought out Stupid Pet Tricks from a dog that runs in backward circles when it hears clapping to jokes about Jack Nicholson beating up a motorist’s car. Even Steven Spielberg has us rolling our eyes in cringe as he read off the winner of Best Director Robert Zemeckis by addressing the name of the director’s son. At least the Cabin Boy auditions of Barry White saying, “Would you like to buy a monkey?” had the audience feeling moist.
For people hoping of a great moment like Jack Palance doing one-armed push-ups or Cuba Gooding Jr.’s electric acceptance speech or even Louise Fletcher’s touching thank you to her parents by using American Sign Language, there’s a lot of what the hell was that moments. Some are so outrageous they seem to have stained the Oscars forever, such as when Warren Beatty and Fay Dunaway were given the wrong envelope for Best Picture and somehow the name of the picture was printed higher than the winner. It was actually a duplicate envelope for Emma Stone’s win. Beatty looked confused obviously and Dunaway just made a common mistake like someone checking a lottery ticket thinking they have a winner but the date is different.
The incident became notorious because it was Moonlight and it hadn’t been corrected automatically so people from La La Land were already on the stage. At least Maria Tomei was feeling vindicated that people said she didn’t really win for My Cousin Vinny.
But then there was the time in 1985 where Sir Laurence Olivier decided just to announce the winner and not the nominees. It was a nice gesture to have him to do it, but it’s obvious his mind wasn’t all the way there. You can even hear the audience grumble and murmur as he does so. That might be why they had Lady Gaga appear with Liza Minelli even though there was some criticism it was age exploitation.
At least they didn’t rearrange the order of the presentation hoping to exploit a woman’s suffering the way they did in 2021 where everyone was sure Chadwick Boseman would win for Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom. However, he didn’t. Sir Anthony Hopkins won for The Father. The actor wasn’t at the ceremony. He wasn’t even in the country. Remember Covid was still a big issue back then. They had anticipated Boseman’s widow, Taylor Simone Ledward Boseman, to give a passionate speech about her late husband who had died the year before. It serves them right they were going to do this for ratings. Steven Soderbergh was one of the show’s producers. He should’ve known better to just let it play out and not think of the Emmy he was going to win.
Some things may have looked great when they happened but have later been criticized, such as the time host Ellen DeGeneres had multiple actors gather for a selfie. It reportedly broke the Internet. But it would later act like a curse as many people in the photo would have personal and/or professional issues. DeGeneres’ show ended with reports that she had a toxic work environment. You can see Jared Leto appearing to look into the pic to and his career has hurt, with Morbius and House of Gucci, along with allegations he’s sexually assaulted women. And speaking of which, in the background, you can see Kevin Spacey. That’s all I’m going to say about him.
Brad Pitt appears and his marriage to Angelina Jolie, whose face is mostly obscured, fell apart since then with reports he was drinking and being too abusive to their children. Jennifer Lawrence saw her career flounder but it’s recovered thanks to a comedic turn in No Hard Feelings. Julia Roberts’ career seems to be a lot of hits and misses but it’s not like anything has happened. However, the rumor mill reports her marriage to Daniel Moder is on shaky ground. Bradley Cooper, who reportedly took the photo continues to have a thriving career but he’s not had any Oscar wins.
This will be the 96 Annual Academy Awards. And even before the Internet, there was Robert Opel, who 50 years ago, streaked behind David Nivens. Some people speculated the thing was planned as the camera didn’t show Opel’s “shortcomings” and Opel ran out just as Nivens was introducing Elisabeth Taylor. Opel had disguised as a journalist but it’s believed the “shortcomings” line Nivens delivered had been thought up prior to the show.
Then there was the infamous slap where Will Smith walked up on stage and slapped Chris Rock claiming he made a joke about Jada Pinkett Smith’s alopecia condition. Whether or not you agree with Rock or Smith, the way Rock stood there as Smith walked up to him had some thinking it was all a stunt. Smith would later scream at Rock swearing. The incident hurt Smith’s view from the general public and now years later, Pinkett Smith has commented that they were separated at the time (and still are apparently.) She was confused why Smith was referring to her as “my wife.” The Slap has become one of the most controversial moments of the Oscars.
But then there was the Oscars in 1973 where Sacheen Littlefeather appeared on stage for Marlon Brando who has refused his win for The Godfather. Reportedly John Wayne was just off-camera trying to run on stage to do more than just slap her. Roger Moore, who had been presented with Liv Ullman, escorted her off the stage after Littlefeather spoke about the treatment of Indigenous Native Americans in movies and on TV. Littlefeather’s appearance was met with both cheers and jeers from the audience.
Granted, there have been some moments that went wrong that have no explanation. Remember when John Travolta referred to Idina Menzel as “Adele Dazeem.” She’s basically Adelle Dazeem and it will be probably listed in her obituary, not that I’m wishing her any ill-will or harm. Worse, they had Menzel appear at the 2015 Oscars to joke about it with Travolta and he just came off as creepy.
And then there was the time where they tried to honor Hal Roach, but someone didn’t get a microphone to him in time. And it’s apparent the filmmaker really didn’t want to be recognized as an assistant just barely got to him with a mic before he sat down. Luckily, host Billy Crystal handled it like a pro and said it was fitting because his history was mostly in silent movies.
There’s only been three great hosts, Johnny Carson, Billy Crystal and No One. I like Jimmy Kimmel but he hasn’t been the best host of the telecast. And what the hell was up with that part where he had the people on a tour bus come in and then other actors go into a movie theater. Jesus Christ! This is boring! Carson and Crystal knew how to work the Hollywood elite to make them laugh and enjoy themselves even though they were cutting down people in the audience. That might be why Seth MacFarlane hasn’t been asked to return. But when you book Seth MacFarlane, you get Seth MacFarlane. It was still better than that time James Franco and Anne Hathaway hosted. And even though it’s been 15 years, everyone has forgot Hugh Jackman hosted, especially Hugh Jackman. No wonder Eddie Murphy sidestepped and withdrew. And I like Whoopi Goldberg, but she’s always too busy trying to sneak in some vulgarity. I did like the time she told a woman who screamed off camera to clean it up.
The problem is the producers, show directors and the network have to handle a perfect marriage of giving the audience what they want – to see the winners and their wardrobes, and trying to make it more than just a tedious rundown of categories and winners. When I was covering the nearby Chamber of Commerce annual banquet, they would often have a sweets auction between dinner and the presentation of awards that would go on forever, mainly because the auctioneer was terrible. I’ve covered livestock auctions where real good auctioneers did it so fast and efficient, you had to be on your toes. But right after people have eaten dry grilled chicken and rice pilaf is not the best time to go on for an hour, trying to get people to pay an outrageous price for an upside down cake.
And that has led to some moments that are just horrible to watch. I’ll admit it may have made no sense whatsoever, but seeing Michael Flatley do some Riverdancing as the self-proclaimed “Lord of the Dance” was a nice lively moment to the 1997 Oscars where The English Patient became the big winner. Yes, The English Patient, do you remember that? It was a joke on Seinfield at the time. But then there was that time Ben Stiller came on stage in a chroma key green suit and you really felt bad for him and everyone watching as he was trying to be funny. It didn’t work and poor Spielberg, who had directed the actor in Empire of the Sun, cringed and made a comment when Stiller referred to him.
And let’s not forget that moment where Adrien Brody, who was surprised himself he won, decided he need to kiss Halle Berry. I don’t mean a peck on the cheek as people in Hollywood seem to do that. No, he could’ve probably tasted what Berry had for supper – the day before. Now, it’s considered another cringe moment especially following the #MeToo Movement.
Of course, they’ll be people talking about how we don’t need the Oscars anymore. And why do we still do it? Yet, we’re always self-congratulating ourselves such as all those Chamber of Commerce banquets, high school graduation awards, and so on. As Americans, don’t we like a good competition?
What do you think? Please comment.
Zane Says 