Today, May 6, King Charles III will go through his official coronation to be the King of England. Of course, he’s been the fucking King of England from the second his mother, Queen Elizabeth II passed away eight fucking months ago. Eight months they waited to do this.
It’s not like the late Queen was in her prime. She was 96 when she passed. They should have been planning this for years. When I worked at the Americus Times-Recorder back in 2001 and 2002, one of my colleagues said the Asssociated Press had a whole lot of copy (stories and photos in layperson’s talk) to go the minute it was confirmed that President Ronald Reagan died. And while I don’t care much for “that sumbitch Reagan,” at least the AP had themselves prepared. Why? Because the man was 90 fucking years old at the time!
And what power exactly is Charles going to have? It’s mostly a ceremonial gig for a 74-year-old man in which they put a crown on his head and do a lot of procedures that most people will just skip through when they watch it – if they watch it. It’s supposed to begin at 11 a.m. in England time and 6 a.m. in the Eastern Time Zone. But who the hell is going to get up at 6 a.m. on a Saturday to watch a coronation?
I can understand the weddings of William to Kate Middleton and Harry to Megan Markle. Just about everyone loves a wedding and since we watched William and Harry grow up, for the social media/digital online world, it was like watching someone who knows someone you know get married. You glanced at it and was intriqued in the moment but you really didn’t care much time later.
For a while the 1981 Royal Family Wedding of Charles to Diana Spencer seemed to be the epitomy of a royal wedding. The coronation is expected to cost up to $125 million, which is about $10 million more than the 1981 wedding cost at $110 million in 2023 dollars. It cost $48 million. And Diana learned that it was pointless to spent that much on a wedding when they weren’t married what 10 years.
At the same time, people in the United Kingdom are facing a cost of living crisis. While some are theorizing it will be good for the economy, it seems odd to do such a thing so far away from the time it should’ve been done. It’s a total vanity project for Charles who has never been a really popular person. I mean, even Donald Trump got a better selection of talent to attend his Presidential inauguration.
And while Trump is blasting President Biden’s decision not to attend, no President has attended a British monarchy coronation. We fought two wars to get away from them. We all know good and well if Trump was President, he’d be demanding an invitation. Yet, I don’t think he’d be able to sit still through the whole thing. Ever been at a toddler’s birthday party where another toddler thinks they should be able to take a birthday gift with them or try to play with it? That’s what would happen.
It’s been 20 years since David Blaine performed that foolish need for attention by staying in a Plexiglass box for about seven weeks suspended in the air over the Thames River. I think this might take the cake as the most pompous, self-centered, unnecessary, narcissitic publicity stunt someone has done in England. Not that I wish Charles any ill-health or harm, but when William takes the throne, he just takes the throne without much fanfare. I mean, Lyndon B. Johnson was sworn in as the new President on an airplane right after John F. Kennedy was shot with Jackie Kennedy standing witness with the blood still on her clothes.
Maybe we just don’t need to have this monarcy anymore.
What do you think? Please comment.
Zane Says 