Type O Negative To ‘Blood Relatives’

Blood Relatives reminds me of those low-budget independent movies that used to come out in the 1990s. They were quirky and sometimes very good. But mostly they were about concepts the big Hollywood studios wouldn’t touch. And then after you’d rent them from the video store, you’d realize why.

The concept behind this movie works more as a short on an anthology show like Amazing Stories or Tales from the Crypt rather than a feature movie. It’s about a vampire named Francis (Noah Segan, who also wrote, directed and produced because of course he did), who’s been a vampire for over 100 years. He likes to drive muscle cars and dress mostly all in black with a leather jacket but drops Yiddish phrases a lot because it’s funny being a Jewish vampire who is about 30-40 years stuck in the past.

One day at a run-down motel because these movies are often set partially or mostly at rundown motels off the main highway, he meets a young woman, Jane (Victoria Moroles) who claims to be his long-lost daughter. And she’s been tracking him on the road. Because she’s a vampire/human hybrid, she can get out in the sun and doesn’t have immortality. Yet, she has a taste for blood and during one scene, eats ground beef raw.

And the rest of the movie is about them arguing while they try to bond. Oy vey! How they argue. Francis is a meshugganah as he isn’t ready to deal with being a father. The movie is supposed to be a horror comedy but I didn’t find myself laughing at much. And I didn’t really care for either character that much. Moroles was great in the comedy Plan B but here I just found her to be a little too annoying. Segan has the type of look where he can be the good guy or the bad guy depending on the material. And it seems his character is often a live and let live vampire as long as people don’t rub him the wrong way.

The joke of the movie is the aging vampire is finally buttoning down to be a single parent but falls into boredom as he works as a mechanic at night because he knows how to do his work. Movies often portray vampires as hurting for being immortal and mostly alone. However, Francis enjoys being a loner. That’s why Jane is problem to his lifestyle. It seems he doesn’t want to fall into this new life as he has to deal with Jane. He attends community therapy groups. And Jane uses setting the clock back so they can get out and do more things together.

But there’s a lot of problems. It seems Segan didn’t have a lot of money and had to shoot with what he had and did it poorly. The movie’s too light-natured to be a dark comedy, so that scenes where there are violence aren’t handled as well. It needed a better edge or it needed to drop the violence and deal with family drama.

What do you think? Please comment.

Published by bobbyzane420

I'm an award winning journalist and photographer who covered dozens of homicides and even interviewed President Jimmy Carter on multiple occasions. A back injury in 2011 and other family medical emergencies sidelined my journalism career. But now, I'm doing my own thing, focusing on movies (one of my favorite topics), current events and politics (another favorite topic) and just anything I feel needs to be posted. Thank you for reading.

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