‘Fear Street’ Comes To A Dead End

There’s a line in a Simpson’s episode where Homer asks Marge, confused, “Is this a good ending or a bad ending.” And Marge just replies, “It’s an ending.”

That’s the same feeling I got after watching Fear Street Part Three: 1666. It’s an ending.

I decided to do a little research and found that in 1666, most of Ohio was part of the New France empire, yet everyone here seems to be mostly Irish or something. It’s a really bad version of The Crucible mixed with The VVitch.

I’m not even going to describe the plot because it just exists on shock value like some really bad Ryan Murphy/American Horror Story wannabe. There’s a lot of blood and guts and plot details that are supposed to be disturbing.

But I am going to ruin the spoiler here and tell you that the 1666 is misleading as only about two-thirds are set in 1666 before it jumps back to the events in 1994 of the first. And we learn that, guess, what Sheriff Nick Goode (Ashley Zuckerman) was the main bad guy all along.

Late film critic Roger Ebert used to talk about the Law of the Most Extraneous Character, which applies to any character in a movie who doesn’t serve any other purpose but to be revealed as the bad guy/killer. And this is no exception to that. Goode was the one whose family was behind it this curse all alone.

Many of the actors from the first movie also appear as characters in the 1666 part including Kiana Madeira who appears as Sarah Flier in the first part and returns as Deena Johnson in the later part.

Madeira may one day be a good actress, but given this material, she’s horrible and whiny.

Part of the problem with the whole trilogy is I felt I never was really watching movies but a gimmick. And a gimmick is only as good as its end effect. And that only effect is the waste of six hours of my life and possibly more posting about it.

But I don’t consider that a waste because I am warning you very much to not watch any of these movies.

Andy Warhol once filmed a man sleeping for six hours, I believe. If you can find a copy of that movie, watch it. It will be more entertaining than this trilogy.