A movie like Borderlands may go down in history along with the 1993 Super Mario Bros. as one of the worst, if not the worst adaptation of a video game. Let’s face it, video games don’t really have that much of a reputation even though the adults who grew up on them still play them. But even a Shakespeare play can be turned into an awful movie adaptation.
I have no background info on the video game Borderlands so I went into this movie cold already hearing of the negative reception. My first reaction when I saw the trailer it looked like The Ice Pirates meets Guardians of the Galaxy. It also seems to echo the problematic issues with The Ice Pirates except on a bigger scale. However, the comparison with GotG seems to be an issue that has arisen in the last decade where all science-fiction/fantasy movies have to have a comedic angle.
But what James Gunn was able to do with GotG Eli Roth can’t do with this movie. Yet, I would offer some sympathies to Roth. This movie was shot during the summer of 2021 in Budapest and surrounding areas. It sat on the shelf for two years. Roth was unavailable for reshoots in 2023 because he was in Canada making Thanksgiving. Tim Miller was brought in to direct two weeks of reshoots. So, who knows what was added and taken out.
Craig Mazin, who co-wrote the screenplay with Roth, had his name taken off the credits. I don’t blame him. He’s got a hit TV show on HBO, The Last of Us, based on another video game. And he’s got the wonderful limited series Chernobyl on his resume. Why take credit for something bad when you don’t have to. There’s a Joe Crombie listed as co-writer but it’s not known if it’s Mazin or not. I’m almost certain there is a script doctor who took the money and didn’t want their name on it either. I’m almost certain if the moniker “Alan Smithee” was still in use Roth would’ve used that one himself as director.
What we’re left with is another space cowboy movie about a motley crew of people who are tasked with findinf something or someone. In this case, it’s Lilith (Cate Blanchett) who travels to the wasteland of Pandora, where she was born, to find Tiny Tina (Ariana Greenblatt), the daughter of Deukalin Atlas (Edgar Ramirez). Tina, who wears obnoxious rabbit ears on her head, has been kidnapped by rogue soldier Roland Greaves (Kevin Hart).
Yawn! You know the story and you know what happens. I mean, you could probably watch the Star Wars prequels or sequel movies and enjoy a better movie. How many more of these futuristic-intergalactic wasteland plots can they make? I get the impression they do it because they can just junk up a movie set and not be out much money.
I think it’s great Blanchett in her early 50s is playing the lead. But I get the impression Lilith is supposed to be maybe about 20-25 years younger than what Blanchett is in real life. Also, they told her to make every stance and pose she could to look sexier. She looks like she’s trying to be an influencer instead of a bounty hunter. Sadly, she looks like one of those middle-aged mothers who wants to be her daughters’ best friend.
I say that about Lilith’s age because she was giving to Patricia Tannis (Jamie Lee Curtis) when she was young as people were fleeing Pandora. Yet, there’s only about a 10-year difference between the two Oscar winners. Also, Blanchett seems to be doing a version of her role in Ocean’s 8, which is probably why she was cast in this movie in the first place. She can do comedy. Except, there’s nothing funny here.
And there’s only so much of Jack Black I can take. Here he voices Claptrap, a one-wheel robot that looks like the drones from Silent Running. None of the dialogue is funny and the characters are all so annoying, you really don’t care for any of them.
The only comfort you can get if you make it through the 100 minutes of this movie is that it lost so much money and received so many bad reviews and negative press, a sequel won’t be made. And this is the type of disaster that won’t even warrant a reboot/remake in another decade or so. If there is one good thing you can say about this movie is how its production problems kept the movie from being released so Oscar voters didn’t see it so Curtis could win the Oscar for Everything Everywhere All At Once.
Well, maybe Angela Bassett would’ve wished it had been released a lot earlier.
What do you think? Please comment.
Zane Says 