Ghosted could’ve been called Casserole or Hodgepodge. It’s a collection of other movies all rolled into one. It takes elements of True Lies, Romancing the Stone, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Keeping Up With the Jones, Knight and Day, and man more, but what it lacks is what made those movies at least half-way watchable.
Ghosted doesn’t even work as back-ground noise. This is the third collaboration between Chris Evans and Ana de Armas after Knives Out and it makes The Gray Man look like The Third Man in comparison. Reports indicate that Scarlett Johansson was originally cast but had to back out due to a scheduling conflict. That might explain why there are a few cameos by other actors from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. They had already signed on hoping it would be a great gag, but their cameos and the cameos by others don’t add much to this movie’s appeal.
CIA agent Sadie Rhodes (de Armes) meets Cole Turner (Evans) at a farmer’s market in the Washington, D.C. area. He’s selling plants because he’s into agriculture which we know because he has a beard and looks like he’s doing cosplay from a Hallmark holiday movie. They have little to no chemistry and have a disagreement that in real life would’ve ended with Sadie walking away not buying anything but Cole is told by a co-worker that they had great charisma. So, he goes and stops Sadie before she leaves to ask her out for coffee. And they end up, going to a museum, a karaoke bar, the neighborhood used in The Exorcist, before they have sex. And the next day, Cole sends too many texts.
Returning home to his parents played by Tate Donovan and Amy Sedaris as if they really don’t want to be in the movie, he realizes he left his asthma inhaler in her purse. (I was more surprised to realize that in their early 60s, Donovan and Sedaris can be Evans’ parents, but I think Cole was supposed to be 10-15 years younger than Evans.) It has a tracker that he uses to determine that she is in London. Rather than stop and think, maybe she’s just doing business and the time zone changes, she’s been busy, he flies across the pond to surprise her. Because that’s what women in the 21st Century want nowadays is someone they hardly know surprising them in a huge city like London.
Unfortunately, this is a ruse and Cole finds himself abducted by arms dealers and sent to Pakistan (New Mexico and the Atlanta area doubling) because they think he’s the “Taxman.” And Sadie shows up to rescue him. And from here, it’s just one long chase scene from one exotic location to another as Cole is surprised by Sadie’s kick-ass abilities and she’s frustrated with his behavior. And there’s a lot to be frustrated with. If it wasn’t for his handsome looks, any other woman would’ve said no to the coffee especially after Cole’s behavior at the farmer’s market.
Evans seems like a nice guy in real life. And he’s capable of playing quirky characters. But Cole is written as a creepy person. There’s a running joke that people keep telling Cole and Sadie they need to get a room. But de Armas is wrongly miscast. It’s as if when Johansson dropped out, they just decided to keep it for a Black Widow character.
The movie is written by Erik Sommers and Chris McKenna, who wrote the latest batch of Spider-Man movies and Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, who wrote the Deadpool movies. Yet, none of them knew how to make this movie work. And neither does Dexter Fletcher as director. The action scenes don’t have much excitement to them and seem choppy as the plot revolves everyone trying to find a bioweapon called the “Aztec.” Adrien Brody does a bad French accent as a disgraced intelligence agent named Leveque as he’s the main villain.
The jokes don’t work. The pacing is off horribly and the cameos make the movie at almost two hours with credits seem a lot longer. Ghosted may just be one of the worst movies of 2023 and with all the great talent associated with it, that’s saying a lot. Aside from Netflix’s claustrophobic setting movies, this has big scenes in big places. I’m sure AppleTV was hoping this would be a big deal and they reported it was their most watched movie in history. I’m just wondering how many people kept watching until the end.
What do you think? Please comment.
Zane Says 