Christmas is a time where many advertisements and commercials air all over the spectrum. With streaming and people paying more so they don’t have to see commercials anymore, they’re not as popular.. I don’t know why Starz thought showing that same BMF commercial with Russell Hornsby playing a father berating his father for “looking proper” at the dinner table would encourage people to tune in more. I can’t click “Skip Ad” fast enough when I see it pop up. But one released in 2015 back when streaming was still in an infantile stage is good cause to pay the extra so you never have to see advertisements again.
In 2015, Edeka in Germany released a commercial where an elderly man has discovered his grown children can’t visit him for Christmas that year. From what we see, they’re too busy being medical doctors and working on business trips around the world. And even though his daughter and granddaughter seem nice on the answering machine, they’re not going to make it to Germany. Yes, it looks like he’s raised many children to be successful all around the world. I know if I had a son who was a medical doctor, I would understand if he can’t travel. A lot of people in the healthcare field sometimes choose to work Thanksgiving and Christmas because it’s not as busy.
So, what does the lonely man decide to do? Does he call up any neighbors or friends and see if they can do something. Does he try to travel to visit them? No, what he does is fake his own death! Yes, you’ve read that correctly! He straight-up devises a plan to have all his immediate family contacted that he’s died. So, they arrived at his house, possibly taking off time for work for bereavement and find out, this narcissistic motherfucker is alive and well! He’s also cooked a whole spread of food he expects his children to enjoy.
You can see the commercial here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_B6wQMd2eI
Think about how traumatizing this is for his children! When my grandmother was in her final weeks/months, my father’s blood pressure spiked. Imagine one of the kids having a heart attack from the news. They arrive in Germany to plan their father’s funeral and discover the bastard is still alive. Not only that, but he expects them to spend time with him. He says it was the only way he could get them together. But that’s just horse-shit! The next thing is the family is like, “Oh, dad! You got us!” No, here is the moment they would put Dad or “Opa” as he’s called into the retirement home.
What’s even more messed up is how people online are commenting how sad and touching it is. It makes them cry! This is like those obnoxious parents who tell their kids they’re taking them to DisneyLand and they end up at the dentist. I mean, parents are being grilled online for pulling pranks on their kids left and right but this is the very touching and sad. No, it’s horrible.
Ruby Franke, a YouTuber, just pleaded guilty to child abuse charges. Michael and Heather Martin, two YouTubers from Maryland, were charged and later convicted for child neglect over pranking their kids for their channel FamilyOFive. A cruel prank is still a cruel prank regardless of who it’s done to and who is the one doing the prank. It shouldn’t matter that it’s an elderly man.
The commercial also implies old men are just lonely people. No, some are complete assholes! I’m almost certain a few of them have had many skeletons in their closets. They’re might be a reason his kids don’t visit and it may have something to do with the absent matriach of the family. I mean Arnold Schwarzenegger said he grew up in a household where domestic abuse was common and he was severely beaten by his father. This old fart is probably the same type who hit his children on a regular basis. I don’t blame them for not visiting.
Now, what is Edeka? It’s a fucking supermarket. Jesus Christ! I certainly wouldn’t shop there. I thought Folgers implying that a brother and sister are going to do it on the kitchen counter was bad. But this is like the “Christmas Shoes” version of a TV commercial. The more you think about it, the worst it gets. Have you heard “The Christmas Shoes?” It’s about a poor kid wanting to buy shoes for his dying mother and some idiot who is standing behind him in the check-out lane realizing God sent that child to him so he could learn the true meaning of Christmas.
Couldn’t a supermarket think of a better way to advertise? I know Germany has a lot of expressionism in filmmaking. But this seems way too disturbing for a supermarket advertisement. Late character actor James Karen got a lot of hate mail for his role in the original Poltergeist as he was also the spokesperson for the supermarket PathMark. But this is like that Pepsi commercial with Kendall Jenner that implies all problems in the world can be solved by a sugary soft drink.
No, this Edeka commercial also examines another problem people have with the holidays – family get-togethers can be rough. Traveling with children is difficult especially if it’s from another country. Also, the medical doctor may not be able to get off. When I was working in Americus, Ga., I did a story about first-responders/hospital staff who work the holidays. One firefighter/EMT said they all work with their family and friends to plan something on a different day. My mom’s side of the family just had their Christmas get-together this past weekend. You can’t keep doing the same thing year after year.
It’s ironic the same people who enjoy National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation each year don’t realize it’s supposed to be satirizing the “Home for the Holidays” concept. This past Saturday Night Live, Molly Kearney talked about her Thanksgiving family get-together and joked about how they all sleep in rooms with numerous other relatives. I don’t want to sleep on a couch or futon while hearing 10 other relatives snore loudly because Cousin Phillip has a bad deviated septum, or leave their iPhone on to The Ben Shapiro Show because they can’t sleep if they don’t watch something.
Once you graduate college and/or have your own real place in your 20s or 30s, you got to break away from the “Home for the Holidays” thing. You can’t keep sleeping on a bed that’s been in your childhood room since the fifth grade that your parents have turned into in an office or exercise room, especially if you have a spouse/partner and children. Take a Christmas cruise with the family if you have to or even go to DisneyLand or something one year.
The last thing I want to do for the holidays is to travel hundreds of miles to be around people I couldn’t stand growing up. There’s a reason people move away. And since most Boomers are more well off than their Gen X/Millennials children, they can visit and stay in a hotel/motel. If they really want to see you, they’d put forth an effort.
What do you think? Please comment.
Zane Says 