In the late 1980s, Alf was one of the most popular TV shows of the time. Now, that we know what it was like on set, it’s hard to watch those old episodes without realizing everyone probably fucking hated it. Even Jerry Stahl, one of the writers, was shooting up heroin on a daily basis.
It’s been later revealed that even the innocent-looking Benji Gregory who played Brian Tanner was traumatized by witnessing all the behind-the-scenes fights between Max Wright, who played Willie Tanner, and Paul Fusco, who voiced and worked the titular character. Dustin Hoffman and Sydney Pollack fought on the set on Tootsie but still made one of the funniest comedies of the decade and of all time. And Eric Idle said the production on the pirate comedy Yellowbeard was one of the best ever even if the movie was terrible. Still, Gregory was just a young boy and having to witness that is why he probably left the entertainment industry in his teens.
The special which aired on this date, Dec. 14, in 1987 was shot on film instead of the use video to give it a more different look. It’s been revealed that the sitcom was never filmed during a live-studio audience because of the technical difficulties and relied on a laugh track. And there’s a laugh track here, even though the special has more serious themes. The plot has the Tanners taking a Christmas trip to the countryside. The Tanner’s family friend, George Foley (Cleavon Little), has allowed given them access to his cabin for the holidays. Willie says George was a friend of his father’s, who allowed his family to stay at the house indefinitely when his father lost his job and they had to move out of their house.
Of course, none of the Tanner family including his wife, Kate (Anne Schedeen), nor his daughter, Lynn (Andrea Easton), are enthusiastic about it. But Alf seems to be as the concept of Christmas is new to him and he quickly invokes Willie’s ire by going through all the Christmas gifts and bringing in poison oak thinking it’s holly. I mean, he’s a fucking alien from the planet MelMac. How’s he supposed to understand Christmas and what posion oak looks like?
Willie, who despite looking like a 1980s junior high chemistry teacher, has the anger equivalent of a P.E. coach who throws scared kid into the pool so they’ll learn to swim. So he tells Alf to leave the cabin house and don’t worry back. I mean, he’s an alien in the California wilderness. Shouldn’t they care about him more? It makes you wonder what Brian and Lynn endured before Alf (real name Gordon Shumway) crash landed in their garage.
Anyway, George shows up to see how the Tanners are as he’s heading to a nearby children’s hospital where he dresses as Santa and passes out toys to kids. In a bad attempt to make Little look older, they put bad make-up on him, which doesn’t work. Little was only 48 at the time and only four years older than Wright, but he’s supposed to play a man around 70ish. Well, he spends the rest of the special dressed as Santa Claus so I guess they were counting on people not realizing it much. Anyway, Alf sneaks into George’s truck and is mistaken for a stuffed animal.
But because no one at the hospital wants him, he’s passed over except for a little girl, Tiffany (Keri Houlihan). Ok, let’s stop for a minute and focus on the fact that George didn’t bother calling the hospital to see how many kids there were so if Alf hadn’t stowed away to see all the toys, Tiffany wouldn’t have squat. Tiffany likes Alf calling her “Amanda” and talking to him about how she’s all alone in her hospital room on Christmas Eve. She used to have another girl in the room but she was removed. If there’s even a young child in a hospital room on Christmas Eve by themselves, it’s never good.
Alf finally comes stops the charade of being a doll and bonds with Tiffany buts says he needs to get back with the Tanners so she gives him back to George who found a doll to give her. But Alf learns why Tiffany is all alone on Christmas Eve. She’s dying. Yes, even her rotten parents can’t get away from their cocktail parties to visit their dying daughter on Christmas-fuckin-Eve. My grandmother had to go to the hospital on Christmas morning because she was hemorraging blood and everyone went to go see her even if it was Christmas. Who the hell wrote this? No matter how messed up Stahl was, I don’t think he would’ve been able to write something this dark and both that man’s parents committed suicide, for God’s sake.
So Alf goes back to comfort Tiffany knowing as Dr. Willoughby (Carl Franklin) says, she’s not going to see another Christmas. So he stays with her until she falls asleep but he gets locked in an elevator with a pregnant woman, Denise (Molly Hagan), who goes into labor and Alf must help her deliver it. He even suggests that Denise call the child Tiffany, which she likes.
Back at the cabin, the Tanners know realize that Alf is missing and Brian is angry rightfully so at Willie for kicking Alf out. They also realize that George has given them the deed to the cabin because his wife died following an illness and there was so much going on he couldn’t notify anyone for a funeral. At this point, I want to remind everyone that phones were in existence in 1987, but George must have not known how to use one. It’s possible George was so grief-stricken, he couldn’t make arrangements for a funeral or just did a small funeral. He says he didn’t have enough time to write everyone. Remember it’s 1987 but long distance was expensive back then.
But one thing is for certain, George doesn’t want to see another Christmas either. Along with giving the Tanners his cabin, he’s cut a check to the hospital for his all savings. So, yes, George is going to commit suicide. At this point, I want to remind everyone that Alf was intended as a family sitcom. And in one special, it’s turned into a show focusing on financial hardships, child neglect, dying children, toxic/abusive households, suicide, holiday depression and grief.
It’s basically every “Very Special Episode” wrapped together. It’s like the show’s writer, Steve Hollander, decided to write something Norman Lear would approve of, may Lear rest in peace. Let’s stop and think how Alf probably saw for the first time the female anatomy because to help deliver a child, he had to put his hands near Denise’s Holiest of Holies. He lookes traumatized in one scene. I’m sure Alf just didn’t let the child squirt out on the elevator floor.
And finally, Alf has to stop George from jumping off a bridge by showing him how good a person he is and has a lot to live for. No wonder, Wright hated this show. Alf got to get all the best scenes while he got the Margaret Dumont role. Eventually, George drops Alf off at the cabin thinking he’s Santa Claus because apparently, Alf put on George’s Santa suit. The next day on Christmas morning, the Tanners decided to visit Tiffany in the hospital because her goddamned parents sure as hell didn’t. It’s possible Tiffany might have been an orphan which makes this special sadder.
A title card after it ends indicates the movie is dedicated to the memory of a young fan of Alf named Tiffany Leigh Smith, 9, who was dying of leukemia. Fusco said she would always write and he saved all her letters. But to keep the illusion that Alf was real and not a puppet, a video conference was arranged between the real Tiffany and Alf. It was later suggested by NBC President Brandon Tartikoff they should do an episode around it.
It’s a nice gesture and it doesn’t get too weird like that Family Ties epsiode where Alex P. Keating is in therapy dealing with the loss of a friend and all the actors pretend their younger as Alex recalls his memories. It was too avant garde existenial for a 1980s sitcom. But at least the laugh track isn’t near as disturbing as the one on the “Bicycleman” episode of Diff’rent Strokes where Arnold and Dudley are preyed on by a child molestor.
But part of the problem is that Alf seems to grow a lot in the special as he learns how to stop being selfish, but yet he went back to being the same for the rest of the series. And you’d think Willie would’ve chillaxed too, but he remained a dick. However, Willie did care for Alf when he got addicted to cotton and started tripping balls. Apparently, Stahl didn’t write that one either. Yet nothing could prepare Alf fans for the tabloid reports of Wright smoking crack cocaine and having sex with gay male prostitutes.
But as holiday-themed sitcoms went at the time, it was par for the course.
What do you think? Please comment.
Zane Says 