Back around 2011 or 2012 when I was working as a news editor of the Wagoner Tribune, the advertising people got a bright idea for a promotion. It breaks down like this, each paper’s advertising rep must seek out a non-franchise mom-and-pop independent pizza restaurant owner in their coverage area. Said owner/proprietor will turn over about $150-250 for an ad on a “Build the Perfect Pizza” contest in which the readers will submit their best toppings for pizzas. Then, a winner will be chosen who gets one free pizza once a week for one year from said pizza place.
If you haven’t guessed, this went nowhere almost immediately. First off, most of the newspapers that were around then that were part of the CPI/Neighbor News organization were in the outlining Tulsa suburbs, so there weren’t many if any individual pizza places that were non-franchise places. Second, those that were weren’t going to pay a few hundred dollars so they could lose hundreds of dollars more over the course of a year. The advertising executives were like, “It only cost so much to make a pizza.” Yeah, but that’s not how a business works. You sell things at a mark up to turn a profit.
Third, the only individual pizza owner in our coverage area was not going to go for it because she was okay with helping people out in need but she was a capitalist also. And finally, it would’ve created a massive shitstorm of problems among all of us. Anytime we tried to get community involvement, a lot of people didn’t care. Then, you have that one person who “Only just saw this” right after a contest or sales promotion ends a week or month earlier and they expect you to still honor it.
Also, people in the Wagoner community could be really snippy about things. They’d want to know who was the one who was judging the submission. They’d also want to know who all submitted. They would threaten to cancel their subscription or pull their advertising. One of the last events I covered was a community Easter egg hunt where an adult pushed kids aside to pick up eggs and they had to stop her. The civic leaders turned the Trunk-or-Treat into an event that focused more on costumes and parents would turn savage because their kids didn’t get a $25 gift card to McDonalds.
Thankfully, the promotion died a quick, quiet death after it was determined no one would advertised. This was much to the bewilderment of the executives who said it was popular in the Missouri area which consisted of small Ozark towns. So naturally, people would be able to open pizzeria and restaurants. I went to one when I lived and worked in Americus that had a good buffet and made great calzones. But things that might work in one area don’t work in another.
Thanksgiving is a few days away and if you’ve seen the popular “Turkeys Away” episode of WKRP in Cincinnati, you know it is a perfect representation of just how wrong a sales promotion can be. For anyone who’s ever worked in the media or corporate world, it’s so funny you have to laugh at it because you’ve probably dealt with a similar problem or heard of one. People don’t think this out thoroughly or ask others if it’s a good idea. Or they expect things to go “My way or the highway.”
By the time the episode aired on Oct. 30, 1978, about four weeks prior to Thanksgiving, WKRP was struggling in the ratings. A production of MTM Enterprises, formed by Mary Tyler Moore, it initially looked like it was going to join the other failed TV programs through MTM such as Rhoda, Phyllis and a Mary Tyler Moore variety show.
Hugh Wilson, who had worked on The Bob Newhart Show through MTM based the show on his early radio days on Atlanta’s WQXI. The focus was on a new program director Andy Travis (Gary Sandy) coming in to help revitalize a struggling radio station. The show was famous for Dr. Johnny Fever (Howard Hesseman) who had a wild-man persona and Venus Fly Trap (Tim Reid) who played more soul and funk music. The general manager, Arthur Carlson (Gordon Whip), feels he’s being rejected and ignored as the station has changed from dated easy listening music to more current rock-and-roll and Top 40.
So, Carlson gets an idea for a sales promotion, but wants to keep it secret. He doesn’t tell anyone nonetheless the timid news reporter, Les Nessman (Richard Sanders), who reports from the sidewalks of a shopping center where he sees a helicopter flying overhead promoting Happy Thanksgiving. Initially thinking the helicopter is going to land nearby, Les begins to matter-of-fact reporting as he sees things being dropped from the helicopter, only to discover in horror they’re live turkeys “falling like bags of wet cement.”
Immediately, shoppers go wild as Les continues to report as Johnny, Andy, Venus and Bailey Quarters (Jan Smithers) listen in disbelief. Reid would later say it was hard for them to stay in character because they were trying not to laugh. But you can see Hesseman try to get a few chuckles out as he has to deliver the line, “Film at eleven” before ending the broadcast. Later, Carlson and Herb Tarlek (Frank Bonner), the sales manager, show up at the station, covered in feathers and their suits torned and tattered. As a traumatized Les details more of the events in horror, Carlson ends the episode with the iconic line, “As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”
Animal lovers can rejoice that there are no turkeys shown being tossed out a helicopter as the camera is on Les and switching back and forth to the news booth. But the absurdity of such a thing would especially from a helicopter makes it all more comical. However, it’s supposedly based in reality. Wilson’s former supervisor, Jerry Blum, at the Atlanta radio station said it happened when he was working at a radio station in the Dallas area. However, Blum, who was the basis for Carlson, said everything was done from a pick-up truck in at a shopping center parking lot. But Blum said the same line, just as Carlson that he thought turkeys could fly.
Other reports indicate something similar is held in Yellville, Ark. when the local Chamber of Commerce toss them out from a low-flying airplane to the people. Upon hearing this, actor Peter Strauss denounced the act on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson where Carson himself asked the questions, “Turkeys don’t fly?” To this day, it’s reportedly still held. But you think they’d get frozen processed turkeys for people. Giving live turkeys to people still means they have to be slaughtered and processed. And let’s not forget the news press release Sarah Palin made while a man was killing and slaughtering turkeys right behind her. I have a lot of issues with Palin, but that ones on the film crew for not checking out their background.
The “Turkeys Away” episode boosted WKRP in the ratings and the show lasted four seasons before it was canceled because network executives preferred Alice over it. Well, kiss my grits! But apparently, some people in Chicago didn’t watch WKRP. On July 12, 1979, a promotional event at Cormisky Park during a double-header between the Chicago White Sox and Detroit Tigers billed as Disco Demolition Night. Orchestrated by Chicago shock jock Steve Dahl, who hated disco, the event was an attempt to get more fans into the park.
Scheduled to take place in between the games, people bringing a disco record could get in for a discounted price. However, people sneaked in and many didn’t turn their records over to the right people. White Sox officials were hoping for about 20,000 in attendance which was about 5,000 more than normal. Instead about 50,000 people crowded the park, more than security and staff were able to handle.
And by the time, the first game ended, it was pandemonium. The event was supposed to be controlled with an explosion of collected records but people throw disco records on to the field. Then, about 5,000 to 7,000 people rushed the field. One of those reported to be on the field was a young Michael Clark Duncan (Armageddon and The Green Mile). Security had been watching the entrances and exits so field security was minimum and not prepared. Dahl, himself, reportedly found himself overwhelmed by the crowds. People continue to demolish remains of the records and a bonfire was started in outfield.
The explosion occurred about 8:40 p.m. But it took almost half an hour after the crowd rushed the field for police in riot gear to show up. Upon seeing the police, the people went back to the stands or left Cormiskey entirely with only about a few dozen being arrested for disorderly conduct. The event was criticized by many with Dahl still trying to remain optimistic on the broadcast the next day. Because of the incident and the damage done to the field, the White Sox were forced to forfeit the second game. And many people who had come to see a baseball double-header went home unhappy.
Radio deejays didn’t learn the lesson. On May 25, 25, a Lexington, Ky., woman, Norresha Gill was listing to DJ Slick on FM-WLTO when he said they would give “100 Grand” to the 10th caller. She was the lucky caller. Upon being told she won, she was told to come to the station the next day. She had to arrange for babysitting for her child and when she showed up, Gill was reportedly told the “contest” was a prank. It was for a 100 Grand candybar. Apparently, Slick had done the contest without consulting with upper management.
To appease her after public outcry, they offered Gill $5,000 but her attorneys said she wanted $95,000 more and filed a lawsuit. Slick reportedly left the station according to its website’s posting. It was never revealed if he was fired or forced to resign. The prank also reportedly got the station, owned by Cumulus, Inc. at the time, in trouble with the Federal Communications Commission because of false advertising concerning promotions and contest. Cumulus had gotten in trouble with another incident at another radio station in November of 2004.
And to quote South Park “Simpsons did it!” In a 1994 episode “Bart Gets an Elephant,” the Springfield radio station KBBL held a contest to offer people money or an elephant. When Bart answers the phone, he chooses the elephant over the money and initially gets railroaded by radio management before he is given an elephant. And it wouldn’t be nowhere near as funny, if PepsiCo, Inc. didn’t get into the same trouble a few years later when they commissioned a commercial for their new points system that would allow people to trade in aggregate points for Pepsi merchandise. The goal was to get people to buy more Pepsi products.
However, they went to the extreme and had a high school student getting enough points to have a Harriet jet. And it only cost him seven million points. Intended as a tongue-in-cheek joke, the commercial didn’t have any legal disclaimer. And a young college student John Leonard and his friend, Todd Hoffman, an investor, decided to hold Pepsi to their word by purchasing the points needed. Of course, Pepsi baulked and offered him coupons. And since Pepsi officials never did really cash the checks, they argued they hadn’t committed fraud.
Yet, it didn’t end there. Leonard ended up suing Pepsi and the case gained media scrutiny with Pepsi either not showing the commercial in some markets or changing how many points needed. This was in the Netflix documentary Pepsi, Where’s My Jet which also detailed a failed Pepsi promotion in the Phillipines where the bottle caps were printed with the winning code on them but not the security bar needed. About 800,000 bottles had been distributed at that time. It resulted in many people thinking they had won the number was announced. This resulted in protests which turned violent with five people dying.
Things didn’t get as bad during the Build-A-Bear “Pay Your Age Day” on July 12, 2018 where people showed up and some waiting hours if not all day to buy a Build-a-Bear that would be as low as $1. But it was a disaster with stores having to cut people off. Vouchers were reportedly issued that would take $15 off. But many people were upset that the stores and the company didn’t prepare better.
Neither did Red Lobster with their all-you-can-eat snow crab legs disaster. In the early 2000s, Edna Morris, CEO at the time, came up with an idea to offer a buffet of $22.99 per person for the buffett that included snow crab legs. Never underestimate the appetites of people who flooded Red Lobsters and wanted their snow crab legs. This meant patrons had to sit at the tables longer to crack legs to eat them and tables couldn’t be turned over as regularly. Also, all-you-can-eat is just that. You can’t put a limit on what people can eat. And yes, The Simpsons did a similar episode involving seafood about a decade earlier.
In the end, consumption of snow crab legs increased, causing the price of snow crabs themselve to increase because the government limits regulates how many can be harvested. So, you have a restaurant having to purchase more crabs that increased in prices in a short time to continue to honor a promotion that is actually bringing in less customers. Needless to say stocks plummeted about $400 million in one week and Morris was forced to resign.
There must have been something in the water back in the 2000s because thoughless pranks and bad promotions was a common theme. In Panama City, Fla., Jodee Berry was one of many people working at a Hooter’s. On April 1, 2001, her boss had a contest to see who could sell the most beer that day to customers. It was a Sunday so naturally people probably would be consuming alcohol more.
But Berry and her co-workers should’ve double-checked the significance of the date. Their supervisor said who ever was able to sell the most would receive what they thought would be a Toyota. Berry and her co-worlker said that the supervisor had made several claims and references to the prize being a vehicle. However, when Berry was supposed to claim her prize, she got the surprise of a lifetime.
She was blindfolded and led to the parking lot. There might have been a Toyota in the parking lot. But it didn’t belong to her. No, she was given a toy Yoda doll. Needless to say she wasn’t too happy. And neither were her co-workers who testify in the lawsuit they were all under the assumption they would get a car. However, it was meant as an April Fools Joke. But Hooters and their parent company Gulf Coast Wings, Inc. were sued.
The story also gained national attention. I remember first hearing of it on Live with Regis and Kelly Ripa. My mother, who hasn’t even driven by a Hooters, nonetheless gone into one, was supportive of Berry. The case was eventually settled for an undisclosed amount with David Noll, Berry’s attorney, saying she can “pick out whatever type of Toyota she wants.” Hopefully, it was a Lexus.
For some reason, people just don’t contemplate the “ifs.” My late girlfriend worked for the Coca-Cola Company for almost 20 years before her death. She said at one time, they wanted to try to market Sprite more to black people. But how they wanted to do it I won’t mention but it wasn’t a good idea. Kenan Thompson can joke about black people drinking more Sprite on Saturday Night Live. I just don’t think a major corporation with offices doing businesses all around the world should even mention it.
McDonalds is still criticized about 30 years later for its Calvin commercials which made it appear that young black men don’t want to work regular jobs like working at McDonalds. Then, there was the commercial with the young black kid entering a room with a ghetto blaster as “The Cha Cha Slide” plays that was criticized for upholding stereotypes. It might be cute because it’s a kid but I remember reading how a young black kid’s teacher at a predominantly white school wanted him to “rap” his school project because of this commercial.
And with Christmas around the corner, Folgers unintentionally turned the holiday season into a time to have sex with your siblings that you haven’t seen in a while. Even though the company said the intentions was to update the famous 1985 commercial “Peter Comes Home For Christmas,” people saw something differently. A young teenage girl gets a little too close and suggestive with her older brother coming home from western Africa. They literally give each other the “Fuck Me” eyes before their parents walk in.
And while someone might read too much into an commercial or sales promotion, since it’s media, it should follow the rules of always double-checking everything. Someone once told me that you have a gut feeling and need to make one more phone call, make the extra phone call even if it means putting an end to your story. Construction workers say you should “Measure twice, cut once.” But I think three times the charm.
A lot of people didn’t learn the lesson from the famous WKRP episode. If it seems there might be room for error, it’s best to err on caution.
What do you think? Please comment.
Zane Says 