“Being The Better Person” Is Gaslighting

Earlier today, I had to go to the local AT&T store top get a new phone. This was an unscheduled and unexpected visit but I was almost anticipating it. I had been out running some errands earlier this morning when I guess the pill bottle in my shorts pocket pressed too hard on the screen of my phone making it officially useless

It wasn’t the first time I had issues with it but I was growing frustrated this phone almost immediately since I had gotten it in October of 2020. So, I was looking to get rid of it for some time but I knew I’d have to pay it off one way or another. I might as well use it as much as I could before I replace it.

The parking lot where the store is located isn’t in one of the most traffic friendly parking lots and shopping centers. There’s a Chili’s, a Walgreen’s, and a few other places. Let’s not forget, this is Oklahoma, where half of the male population are born driving out of their mom’s wombs with in an extended cab 4×4 pickup truck.

The AT&T store is located right next to a Little Caesar’s and as I was driving closer, I was happy to see two empty spaces in front of the businesses. But, then a sedan vehicle pulled up in the opposite direction and parked diagonal taking up two spaces. I could’ve been a jerk and pulled in next to her, but I would’ve been in the handicapped spot. I hate when people park in that spot with no designated placard or license plate. Even worse is when some douchebag parks just a few inches over the lines.

Now, I have heard of sometimes people having to take up two spots if they use wheelchairs or motorized carts. But, like I said, if that was the case, the vehicle would’ve parked in the designated handicapped spot.

People just aren’t considerate of others. So I had to park further away from the store, but I made a note to walk past the driver when they were getting out of their car. The driver was a middle-aged woman, who looked like she was indigenous Native American. I glanced at her a couple of times as I passed by and I could tell from the window reflection was coming in behind me.

So, I just opened the door and walked in. I didn’t hold the door for her. Some would say I should’ve held the door open for her. Kill them with kindness. But no. Sometimes, people have to be told how they are.

We’re too busy trying to tell others to “be the better person,” but I think it sends the wrong message. Some people think they have the right to do whatever they want and others will go along with it. But then, some people just don’t see what they do as wrong. These are the worst people because they always think they’re right and always think everyone else is wrong.

She wasn’t in the store long, just to pay a bill or something. But even so, she should’ve took the time and consideration to leave an open space. This is one of my biggest pet peeves with people over 55. They think that they should skip to the head of the line. This isn’t high school where the senior class gets to do everything first.

A few years ago, I went into the pay the gas bill because they only accepted payments by cash or check in the office. I was right behind someone and there were two people behind me. A middle-aged woman walks in and she says in a smug tone, “Alright, all you in front of me, are going to pay my bill.”

Why? Because we got to the office sooner. This is why I use self-checkout or pick-up at stores. I got frustrated with people making cracks about me “not wanting to pay for their groceries” as I put the little divider bar on the conveyor belt.

But even then, I’ve seen some people treat others badly. I went to the Reasor’s Supermarket last month to pick up my items and some middle-aged person in front of me had pulled into the pick-up lane loop just enough to avoid any traffic for her vehicle. I was sticking out when I pulled in behind her.

As someone who is almost 43, I’ve noticed more older people are usually ruder and more inconsiderate. Millienals and Gen Zers are really nice people. We get angry at them saying, “No problem,” instead of “You’re welcome.” But I think it shows how they it’s only in our common decency to open a door for a someone or to do a kindly gesture.

Yes, there are pompous jerks of all ages who only think of themselves, or those that can immediately help them. And the more we allow them to behave this way through “forgiveness” or “not holding a grudge” only elevates their behavior.

I don’t hold grudges, because I feel that’s being angry at someone and wanting them to fail so much I’d help in their failure. I have been angry, hurt, used and back-stabbed by people I don’t ever want to see again. That’s not a grudge. I was raised in a community where people held grudges and did awful things to people they didn’t want to succeed.

It’s the main reason I’m no longer there. I was cheated out of scholarships and other opportunities by the officials at my high school. There’s no way I could continue on the rest of my life there knowing people would get ahead because they knew how to throw a football in high school or their father had a lot of money and wealth.

This leads us to the next issue we incorrectly tell people – to forgive them. Why? I think you should only forgive people if they are making or have made a noble attempt to change themselves. I have a lot of inner peace by not being around people who I don’t like nor can stand to be around.

As I’ve said before, I really don’t like it when people bounce back from serious illnesses that nearly kill them or cause major problems only to become worse people than they were before. They’ve been given a second chance. But these people act like they deserve a fourth or a fifth chance.

All they were given was another chance to be awful people to those around them.

Published by bobbyzane420

I'm an award winning journalist and photographer who covered dozens of homicides and even interviewed President Jimmy Carter on multiple occasions. A back injury in 2011 and other family medical emergencies sidelined my journalism career. But now, I'm doing my own thing, focusing on movies (one of my favorite topics), current events and politics (another favorite topic) and just anything I feel needs to be posted. Thank you for reading.

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