This time last week, there’s a good chance 99.9999 percent of the world didn’t know who Andy Byron is nor had they heard of Astronomer. Yet, days ago, he was caught on a “Kiss Cam” Jumbotron at a Coldplay concert in Foxborough, Mass., a suburb of Boston.
Byron was shown to the crowd on the cam embracing Kristin Cabot with his arms around her waist as they both faced the concert stage. Most of the time, this would have been just another lovely couple enjoying a night out. It’s just that Byron was the former CEO of Astronomer and Cabot was the head of the human resource department as the chief peoples officer. And unless you’ve been taking a vacation on Mars the past week and are blind and deaf, you already know they’re married…just not to each other.
Their reaction to being caught on the camera has led to endless viral memes and jokes. So many people are relishing in the fact they got caught. And I can’t blame them.
Seriously, you haven’t worked in the adult world, especially in America, if you haven’t known people that were having an affair and getting away with it. It goes without saying that Byron was Cabot’s supervisor. And I’ve worked in places where someone was having a relationship with their superior or someone under them (and by that I mean on the pay-grade level not in any sexual way.) Usually the higher-ups will scramble to keep the rest of the company from knowing but creating “new” positions so it doesn’t look like someone is doing their boss.
Yes, sometimes it’s unethical. Most of the time, companies are just covering their own asses in the event a lawsuit could be filed down the road. But let’s face, America has never really had a good system of business ethics. Just asked all the enslaved people brought over from America or their descendants who were torn apart from their families or women in general. The people who survived the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire in New York City in 1911 can tell you all about business ethics as the doors and stairwell exits were locked to prevent them from taking “unapproved breaks.” Even the young kids who were forced to work in factories and mines up until about 100 years ago would love to hear your thoughts on business ethics.
It doesn’t matter if you work at Wal-Mart or on Wall Street, someone is going to be fucking someone else they work with. Let’s not sugarcoat it. This isn’t some middle school relationship. There’s a good chance at many workplaces, someone is probably having sex with a co-worker or a superior or someone who is under them (in more ways than one.) It happened numerous times when I was going through school someone, usually an administrator, would get caught having an affair with a teacher or teaching assistant.
And that’s just one school district. I’m pretty sure it’s happening at just about every school district in America. Some of you wonder why your kids’ favorite teacher isn’t coming back for this upcoming school year, you can probably guess so now. Any time a politician or business leader resigns to “focus on personal issues,” they got caught fucking someone they shouldn’t have been fucking. Just look at Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton and his wife, Angela, as they were married for 38 years.
What pisses me off these are the people who are usually wagging their finger at you like a bad person for minor issues. It happened in my home town where one of the teachers who prided himself on being a true Christian was having an affair with another faculty member. My mom said everyone knew and it was just one of the cases. Now, I’m not Mike Pence and I feel that it is possible to have conversations with other women that don’t result into sexual acts. You can go out to eat with a woman just being friends.
This is porno. Not every woman on the planet wants to have sex with every man she communicates with. I have a Ph. D in the field of Friend Zonology, I know what I’m talking about.
But seriously, if you’re going to have an affair, at least take precautions. Some people don’t even use condoms or other types of birth control. And I definitely wouldn’t take someone I’m having an affair with to a concert where I might run the chance of bumping into someone I might know. Even if they don’t see you, everyone has a very nice digital camera on their cell phones nowadays and there’s always the possibility a cheating couple might get caught when it’s posted online.
I mean, people used to meet in motels and hotels that only accepted cash and let you sign in under a phony name. The fact that Byron and Cabot were so brazen to do this in public shows how entitled they were to think they could get away with it. Look, I don’t care about people’s personal business as long as it’s two consenting adults. But as our current administration is bending over backwards for rich people while tearing families apart and forcing victims of sexual assaults to have babies, if you want to keep it personal, then you keep it personal.
Byron went on saying it was a “private affair.” No, it wasn’t, buddy boy! This isn’t some private investigator who hung out in the parking lot of a Radisson waiting to catch you in the act. You went to a public arena and let it all out in the open.
And coming as it is as the Justice Department is trying to gaslight us into believe there was no “Epstein List,” it’s nice to see someone caught with their hand in the cookie jar and there’s no way to hide it. And we all know there’s an Epstein List. If the current President is on the list, arrest him. If Bill Clinton is on the list, arrest him. Anyone who sexually assaulted young girls and probably young boys needs to be arrested, no matter how much money they have in the bank or what their title is of a major corporation.
That’s why a lot of people are having so much fun with this. This is our moment. This is revenge for everyone who had to do more job duties at their place of employment while another employee got treated with kid gloves because they were having an affair or the superior was sweet on them. This is revenge for every child of divorce whose parents acted like they should treat the person their parent had an affair, leading to a divorce, as if they walked on water now that person is a step-parent. (And I betcha they didn’t like you dating someone even when you were in high school, college or as an adult.)
This is for all those people who were unfaithful but wagged their fingers at others about morality and ethics. This is for all the racists and homophobes out there who criticize interracial and same-sex couples. And a lot of these people are usually strong on the “Christian faith” too. It’s happened in almost every community I’ve worked and lived in where someone pastor, clergy or deacon had an affair. I’ve even heard some former wives of pastors be told to forgive their husbands for their affairs and infidelity.
I guess the moral of the story, boys and girls, is don’t cheat.
I know in another month, this story won’t be in the news and we’ll probably forget it a year from now like the Hawk Tuah girl.
Byron has resigned as CEO. Just don’t buy any of his cryptocurrency.
What do you think? Please comment.
Zane Says 