Well, today is President’s Day. It’s recognized to celebrate the birthdays of former Presidents George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. Rep. Claudia Tenney (R-NY) has proposed to make Donald Trump’s birthday on June 14, which is also Flag Day, a national holiday.
Well, we already had Gulf of America Day, so why the fuck not?! Oh, why not stop at Trump? Let’s do Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton, Kamala Harris, Jimmy Carter and Richard-Motherfucking-Nixon?
Let’s be serious. The idolatry toward Trump is outrageous. Not only do they want to make his birthday a national holiday, chisel out his face on what we know call Mount Rushmore, but they also want to make it legal for him to run for a third term. Well, Obama can run again! I’m all for that!
But do we even have a current President? Judging by that press conference where Elon Musk answered questions while Trump sat at the Resolute Desk like an elderly patient listening to the doctor try to explain to Big Daddy’s family why he has to wear a diaper the rest of his life.
It’s not like we’ve had some pretty shitty Presidents before. I mean, who was the President that served between Grover Cleveland? Or who served first – Zachary Taylor or John Tyler? And if Al Bundy never did play at the fictious Polk High School, you might not know John Polk was even the President. (Oh, Tyler succeeded William Henry Harrison who only served 30 days.) Then Taylor succeeded Polk but Taylor was only POTUS 16 months as he died while in office, before he was replaced by Millard Filmore, the man not the conservative political cartoon character.
But from the morning of March 4, 1841 to the late night of March 4, 1861, we had 10 fucking Presidents in office starting with Martin Van Buren who began that time period waking up as the eight president turning his role to Harrison and then ending with Lincoln going to bed that night with Mary Todd. (Oh, it was Benjamin Harrison who was the President in between Cleveland.) But it’s hard to tell because 19th Century Presidents didn’t really have that good of a track record.
We had three Presidents in 1881 beginning with Rutherford B. Hayes and then James A. Garfield who was fatally shot. Then, Chester A. Arthur was President. Most of them looked like bear daddies which is why you really can’t tell them apart. But Trump is buddies with Musk who Time magazine featured the real President. I mean, Musk has an ulterior motive and I don’t think he cares about the Oval Office. He just knows how to cater to Trump’s ego to get what he wants.
Shit, Musk is taking a page from Trump’s playbook for suing companies who refuse to advertise on X, formerly known as Twitter. I think Musk also must wear diapers, and there’s news that he’s sired a 13th child with four women. And it’s not too late for Trump to have another child with a fourth woman. (Let’s face it, he probably already has.) Ok, that’s disgusting to think of Musk and Trump doing the nasty.
Yet it what make me wonder why so many people are just sitting around wondering why the Department of Government Efficiency is even allowed to exist. I mean, it is the dumbest thing I heard since the Marvel Comics created the Department of Damage Control, which is a joint venture between Stark Industries and the federal government. Yet, I don’t think Musk is a Tony Stark unless we’re referring to the Marvel universe in the 1970s TV movie adaptations of Captain America and Doctor Strange. And Joe Gebbia, a co-founder of AirBnB, is joining DOGE, but it’s ok because he looks white.
And it appears that Pete Hegseth, the Defense Secretary, may have actually been drinking alcohol during a meeting. Hegseth has admitted he has a drinking problem and while it’s nothing to criticize someone for, I don’t think someone should be doing it right out in public. Hopefully, it was tea. But even if it was hard liquor, the Trumpsters are probably using it as a way to praise him “for being a real man.” Real men don’t drink on the job. Alcoholics do.
Also, none of this has reduced the price of eggs or gas. But more and more people have lost their jobs as a reported 3,400 government workers at national parks. And Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who is the secretary of Department of Health and Human Services, says people don’t need to take anti-depressants. The government may want to watch who’s toes they really step on, because Big Pharma is really running things, mostly.
What do you think? Please comment.
Zane Says 