In the aftermath of the docuseries Quiet on Set, the autobiography I’m Glad My Mom Died is more relevant now than when it was published nearly two years ago. Jeanette McCurdy, who appeared in the Nickelodeon series iCarly and its spin-off, Sam & Cat, has been one of the many former child actors who has spoken out against the network and mainly Dan Schneider. However, in her book, she only refers to him as “The Creator” probably for legal reasons. But at this point, if you don’t know who she is talking about, you probably haven’t been following the news closely.
The book focuses more on her horrendous upbringing by her mother, Debra, a narcissistic and also paranoid woman who was a hoarder. However, she just didn’t treat Jenette horribly but everyone around her. Like most parents of child actors, Debra more or less expected to make money off her kids as they worked meager jobs mostly in the service industry that barely paid the bills. Jennette also lived with her grandparents, presumably Debra’s parents, and her grandmother didn’t seem too far different than Debra.
It’s a horrible story, but Jennette handles it with a deadpan dark humorous turn that only a person who went through a traumatic experience can give to avoid from crying and screaming. She does spill a lot of tea and even though some stuff is suggested, you can guess who she is talking about. Part of the reason she did Sam & Cat with Arianna Grande was that she would have the opportunity to direct an episode only to find out that someone on the cast would walk if she did. Was it Grande? Who knows? She gets better treatment on the set than Jennette.
And it was because many other young actresses of this era focused on singing as well as acting, Jennette says it was her mother’s idea for her to sing. It was something that she didn’t like. But at least the touring and recording gave her the opportunity to be away from her mother so she could eat decent food. If Debra wasn’t sick with cancer, I’m certain Jennette’s life would’ve been far worse, not to say it wasn’t bad to begin with.
At 45, I’m probably too old to get in on the whole Nickelodeon craze. When I watched, they were still showing Double Dare, Duckula and all those weird 1980s Canadian shows. I only recently saw Good Burger all the way through in 2023. I think I only watched half an episode of Kenan and Kel before I turned it off because it didn’t interest me.
But thankfully, Hollywood is such a strange and somewhat incestuous business where you know where Jennette is coming from. She talks about all the difficult times she went around to auditions and being cast as background extras on shows and movies. Debra got Jennette being taught acting by Barbara Cameron (mother of Kirk and Candace). And like the Camerons, Jennette was part of a very religious family as her family were Mormons. However, she says she’s not religious anymore and the last time she was in a church was for her mother’s funeral in 2013.
Even though she doesn’t come out and say it but Debra guilted Jennette a lot through her early years gaslighting her into believing she loved acting and even the rare sweets that her mother liked to eat. Of course, Debra would force Jennette to starve herself because young women at the time were expected to have a certain size. But also, Debra felt that if Jennette looked too big, she wouldn’t get roles. However, Jennette doesn’t get a role because a casting director tells her she’s too beautiful, which Debra is happy to hear.
There’s a few brief mentions of how Debra more or less sexually assaulting Jennette, going into the bathroom when she was well old enough to go on her own. She says her mother also gave her breast and vaginal exams until she was 17. But Jennette talks more about her battles with bulimia and you can really see the mentality of a young women who thinks she’s going to get too big. At the same time, she wants to enjoy the taste of food. At an awards show, she has a panic attack because she eats a slider and has to be escorted out by her plus-one who went there to help her.
Because she was a child actress and many people made money off of her, Jennette found herself like other child actors in that conundrum where she is being forced to work against her will. But since she is a child, she really doesn’t have much of a say in what she does. Even after Debra dies in 2013 from cancer and Jennette tries to break out from Nickelodeon to do more mature work, her team of agents, managers and lawyers, still seem to treat her like a child, even though she was in her mid to late 20s. It’s quite possible no one did ever see her as an adult and still thought they could push her around.
She explains the reason she refused to return for the iCarly reboot is because she didn’t think she would have many opportunities afterwards. And she’s right. A lot of former child actors fall into a hole they can’t get out of. Ryan Reynolds, Jodie Foster and Kurt Russell are a few child actors who have made the leap from young actor to being very successful and prolific adult actors. However, with the creation of The Disney Channel and Nickelodeon in the 1980s, these networks needed more child actors. And more child actors only have a few years before they turn into adult actors. Or another child actor comes around and takes all their roles.
A lot of them end up retiring. Erik Per Sullivan, who appeared on Malcolm in the Middle and movies like Christmas With the Kranks and Joe Dirt has pretty much gone back into a private life even staying away from social media. Others decide to stay in the business but do other types of work such as Jeff Cohen who is an entertainment lawyer. It’s a tough business for adult actors and it’s a tougher business for child actors who grow up.
I equate it to people you went to school with who still get special treatment as adults because people around town still see them as the quarterback who threw the game-winning touchdown that won the championship. Despite this, they are total burnout has-beens. And that’s the reason the most bright and determined school kids move away. There’s no point in staying when you know your options are limited. If you don’t get out when you can, you never will.
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