Recently in the last week, Pope Francis went on the defensive after saying people need to start having kids rather than relying on pets as their children. This is another one of the many Christian rights, “Do as we say; not as we do” mantra that is turning more people away from all forms of religion.
The comments came within the same week as Betty White, 99, passed away. As most people knew, White never had any children of her own, but claimed many animals as her babies. People often said she was more interested in seeing her fans’ furbabies than their real biological babies. What’s ironic is most people have often lived their lives without having kids thanks to our country’s need to engage in warfare. From World War I to the Vietnam War, many people died changing the futures of many women back in America who had to start over.
But having kids today isn’t the same as it once was. My great-grandfather on my mom’s side had several children with three different women. One hundred or so years ago that was very common. Women didn’t have much to do outside the home, except be maids, cooks or teachers and secretaries. Marriage was more of less a business contract and many women got into it to leave the households they grew up in.
Up until about 50 years ago, women needed a man to sign a promissory note on a loan or mortgage or even lease a car in some areas. It’s 2022 now. Women have more options and better yet more openness about how they can live their lives. We’re more accepting of lesbians and transgendered women. It’s not total acceptance but it’s far better than what it was 20 or 30 years ago.
Demanding women, even those with health issues, to have children proves that Christians still don’t see women as equals. Many religious figures still talk about women being subservient and obedient to their men. And while some women may think this, it shouldn’t be universal.
Having children during the Covid-19 pandemic might just be the most dangerous thing we can do. We’re putting a child’s life at risk as well as the parents. When we could have medical staff assisting in other wards, they have to work maternity and neo-natal. And regardless of what ward they’re working in, they’re not getting good pay nor benefits, which brings me to my next point.
It’s not the most financial responsible time to have children anyway. There are still a group of leaders who had all their kids before the 1980s telling people that $7.25 is just fine and dandy as a living wage. Also, women don’t have any maternity leave. Hell, employers can still get rid of employees who are pregnant. There are ways, even though it’s supposed to be illegal. It’s either have a job or have a kid.
As embarrassing as it is, a lot of men and women in their 20s or even in their 30s have had to live with their parents, because rent is too high and salary is too low. And the Pope thinks they ought to have kids.
Now, unless, Pope Francis wants to pay up all the real estate holdings the Catholic Church has in America so our government can provide more assistance for women and couples to have children, I suggest he shut the fuck up. Because I know, Francis isn’t talking about a lesbian couple having a child. He mentioned adoption, but is he talking about a gay couple, like my brother and brother-in-law adopting a child? Or what if a transgendered woman who hasn’t had sexual realignment surgery getting a cisgendered woman pregnant? Not all transgendered women liked men. Of how about a transgendered man who can still carry a child to term?
Or how about mutli-racial children? That’s one thing people do not like to see. Even if the parents love their children more than other parents. Love is love is love. If a couple wants to have a child, then they will love the child the best they know how.
What sucks is the medical community is still restricting some women from getting hysterectomies and tubal litigation as they’re being told “What if you meet a man who wants children?” So, a woman’s body doesn’t really belong to her but some hypothetical manly man who will tell her he wants a child so spread those legs wide. Some married women don’t get doctors discussing this matter with them but their husbands.
And this coming from the head of the Catholic Church, a man who has chosen a life of celibacy and never being a parent, mind you, says that you’ll never be satisfied with just a dog or a cat or a ferret or a snake or a tortoise. I mean, what the fuck does it matter? Maybe if we let these priests and nuns have a Purge like moment every year where they get to fuck their brains out, they wouldn’t be molesting all the children. Is the Catholic Church running out of fresh meat to molest? Those alter boys have been hitting the gym and they’re cold-clocking the priests in the dicks.
With the climate the way it is and overpopulation, this is the time for a generation or two to take a step back and realize that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Forbes just released a story that teachers are quitting their jobs along with the food servers and the cashier/clerks because they’re not getting enough money and they’re asking to do too damn much.
Seriously, do you imagine how great the school districts will be if all those Catholic cathedrals were taxed? Or look at all churches and how much ad valorem tax we can get to fund public education. Then, maybe we can consider discussing the Bible. (But don’t be surprise when certain students don’t make good grades?)
The Pope says we should just adopt if women don’t want to risk their health by getting pregnant. It’s a great idea, Frankie, in theory, but do you know how hard it is to adopt a child in this country. We actually made it so damn difficult because there were people, still living, who were part of baby kidnapping schemes. One of them is Ric Flair. Again, what if it’s an adoption agency that doesn’t adopt to same-sex couples or a couple where one of the people is transgendered?
No one should be told how to live their life, especially by someone who who doesn’t know what they’ve been through and what their goals are. Granted, a lot of people end up living a live they didn’t plan on, but the last thing we need is for them to project that failure on to their children, biological or adoptive. Telling people their life won’t be complete until they’re a parent sets them up for failure, because they’re expecting happiness.
Sadly, a lot of women experience post-partum depression. We don’t talk about it much because it’s not something they want women (and men) knowing. If you’ve taken an advanced literature course either in college or high school, you’ve probably come across “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. But that’s about it. There is a subplot on this season’s 9-1-1 on Fox in which Jennifer Love Hewitt’s character is experiencing it. Her character was also the victim of domestic abuse. Post-partum is a real thing and to add that on top of many women who are dealing with other traumatic experiences and mental illnesses is dangerous and I don’t wish it on anyone.
But even if you don’t experience post-partum, your problems aren’t going to magically disappear the moment the child is born. There’s a good guess they’re going to get worse. Now, you have a bigger responsibility. You have to raise a child for 18 years. Then, you have to be supportive of that child, but not too clingy for the rest of your life. There’s a lot of prep work that goes into having a child and there’s a lot that happens from the moment they’re born to the day you die.
Like beginning a relationship, you first must be happy with yourself, before you bring that into a new relationship. And while a partner can leave or you can leave a partner, you can’t do the same thing with a child. That might be why some people are choosing at first to have furbabies to take care of.
Even though I have cats, they have to be taken care of. They need food. They need water. With it being winter, I know I must deal with having the heater and furnace at an appropriate level where they get warm. The same goes for the cats that I have outside. They need food and water and a place where they can seek shelter.
But mostly, furbabies need attention. Never pass up an opportunity to pet a dog or a cat. When they come toward you, they are telling you they trust you. All they want is a little rub on the belly or behind the ears. And that can make the difference.
The Pope is still stuck in this olden archaic mentality we’re all going to turn Old Maids, Old Spinsters and Bachelors. Guilting people into having children is dangerous. You don’t owe your parents any grandchildren.
And that brings me to the last thing I’ll say, some people may not want to introduce children to their toxic parents. Why would you want your children to be treated as badly as you did by your parents? People who were raised in abusive homes sometimes continue the abuse or they don’t have kids to prevent it. Those who stop the cycle are the lucky fortunate ones.
Selfishness is demanding their younger generations suffer the same as older generations. Selfishness is telling people that they shouldn’t have career and life goals that interfere with having the two-and-a-half kids paradigm. A lot of people have had school counselors, parental units, educators, civic leaders and other religious figures telling them this. The last person they should hear it from is an octogenarian who doesn’t have kids himself.
What do you think. Please comment.